


A Recipe For Disaster

by FolleseGaskarth



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Breakfast, Domestic, Husbands, M/M, kitchen disasters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2016-03-15
Packaged: 2018-05-26 20:03:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6254002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FolleseGaskarth/pseuds/FolleseGaskarth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are very important reasons why Levi does not allow Erwin to cook.</p>
<p>[Rated T for the use of some choice words]</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Recipe For Disaster

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe I have like 5 fics I should be working on that have been sitting in progress for months but instead the next thing I'm posting is this fic I wrote in like under an hour that was inspired by my own kitchen disasters this morning. I promise I can actually cook I just had a bad morning. It's been a while since I've been in the kitchen, okay?

Erwin woke up with a determination to attempt cooking again.  
  
“No.” Was Levi’s immediate response.

Erwin pouted at him, begging to ‘pretty pretty please’ let him cook again. It was Levi’s day off and he just wanted to prove that he wasn’t such a horrible domestic husband; regardless that neither of them were really domestic husbands. Levi finally let up, saying yes only because he was too tired to cook his own brunch. It was noon and he was too hungry to complain as well. Besides, it might be funny to watch him struggle in the kitchen. Erwin immediately perked up, kissing Levi’s face as he ran into the kitchen (after brushing his teeth when Levi called out after him to do so) and started humming to himself, looking through their fridge to see what he could make.

He found a can of biscuit dough and while it may have been cheating, he could also dress them up and make them fancier. He also put a few eggs to boil and started brewing coffee. Man, this cooking stuff was easy. So he decided to play it up a bit. He knew Levi loved caramel lattes so he searched up online how to make caramel. That was it, right? Just making some caramel and adding it to the coffee and then over the whipped cream. He nods to himself as he adds a decent amount of water to the pot and a few spoonfuls of sugar. After a few minutes he realizes his ‘caramel’ doesn’t look like what’s in the pictures. And… wasn’t that a bit too much water? He sighs, pouring it out and trying again and-Oh! The stove timer went off and he went to go take out the biscuits. They were perfectly golden he felt happy at this. He placed a cooling rack near the window and placed the biscuits there before attempting the caramel again.  
  
By this time, Levi had awoken and was out in the kitchen, coming up behind Erwin to see what was cooking. He didn’t say anything, just rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as Erwin assumed he had napped for a little longer before finally waking up. He looks for another recipe this time, one with measurements, and properly pours the amounts asked into the pan.   
  
“Are you making caramel?” Levi asks, the seasoned cook knowing most everything about the kitchen.   
  
“Mhmm!” He says with a bright smile and Levi does not question why. Nor does Erwin answer why. Levi goes to sit in a chair as Erwin leaves the caramel to cook.   
  
The eggs are nearing done in their boil and so he places them under cold water, peeling them as the caramel cooks. He places two eggs on each plate before remembering the biscuits. And this was where he had gone wrong. They had been cooling down too long and were sticking to the baking pan. One of them even left a solid chunk stuck to the pan. He pouted but did not let it deter him. He cut each biscuit open and placed them in the microwave to heat them up, then placing some shredded cheese on top, hoping it would melt with the heat. By now his caramel had started to brown so he started mixing it, blending it until the color was evenly distributed. And by now the coffee was done. So he took out two mugs, placing a bit of caramel in each and then throwing coffee over it. He smiled as he started to blend it before-   
  
“Oh…” He says as the spoon gets… really difficult to move. “Oh no.” He whispers when he realizes the coffee is not hot enough to keep the caramel in a liquid state, regardless that it’s steaming. He continues to mix though, because what else can he do except hope it might dissolve? He also realizes that he forgot to add cream to the caramel as one of the recipies mentioned to. He searches through the fridge and they don’t have cream or half-and-half but there’s vanilla coffee creamer and he figures it’s the same thing and tosses some in. It starts to crackle a bit as he was warned on the recipe but he just mixes, adding some more creamer to the coffee and then topping it with whipped cream. He then brings the pot of caramel to the whipped cream and pours it over. The whipped cream also begins to crackle for obvious reasons and then deflates.   
  
“No, no, no…” He whispers as he adds some more whipped cream and caramel only to have both overrun the sides of the cup. And then the caramel hardens on the side of the mug and he sighs. This breakfast had turned into a disaster. The biscuits were cold again, he realized and threw them into the microwave again. At least the cheese would melt. He also remembered that Levi liked his lattes iced, so he threw in a few ice cubes over the whipped cream and sighed as he also remembered that Levi loved dijon mustard. He spread a bit over the cheesy biscuit halves and sighed. What a mess.   
  
He tried to pour the remaining rest of the caramel down the sink since it was already hardening but the cold water was on and it instantly hardened. He sighed again, the caramel getting caught on the sink’s plastic drain as he started to try and scrape it off with his fingers. After nearly cutting himself with a sharp hard caramel edge, he opted for using a knife instead. He now had a pot full of hard caramel and two mugs with hard caramel on the bottom. Not to mention that there was caramel on any utensil that had come in contact with it, the stove, the counter, and even those utensils in the sink that hadn’t touched it somehow had caramel on them. He left the hot water running on the pot as he brought the plates over to the table.   


“I’m sorry.” Was all he could say as he presented the dish to Levi. The biscuits and eggs looked decent enough but that damned coffee was just… so disappointing and unappealing. Erwin could even see the edge of an ice cube peaking through the low layer of melted whipped cream. Levi was close to teasing him before realizing the deep pout on Erwin’s face, his disappointment at having messed up brunch so badly.   
  
“Don’t be, Erwin.” He said, trying to make him feel better.

  
He eyed the biscuit cautiously, almost asking Erwin if he knew that the mustard went under the cheese. He took a bite anyways. The biscuit was soft and soggy from the microwave, instead of crisp and airy. The bottom half he had was also slightly burnt but he chewed through it none the less. He took a sip of the coffee next and almost spit it back out. It was sweet enough to give him a cavity, he was sure. At least he couldn’t fuck up boiled eggs, even though they had a few brown spots on them from where they had laid against the hot biscuits for a while.   
  
All in all, Levi knew this was such a shit breakfast. But… Erwin had worked hard, very much so to try and make him happy. So he said what he truly felt.   
  
“I love it, Erwin.” Erwin looked up from his shitty biscuit concoction with a twist in his eyebrows.   
  
“Don’t lie, Levi. I know it’s horrible. Especially after all your lovely home-cooked meals.”   
  
“I’m not lying, I do love it. It might not be the best thing this house has seen, but I love it. Because you tried hard enough to make it.” He says, leaning forward and placing a hand on Erwin’s cheek to comfort him.   
  
“Thank you, Levi.” He says with a smile. He’s standing and walking back to the kitchen then, Levi watching him through the open space as he continues to eat.   
  
“Are you done already?”   
  
“Are you kidding me? This tastes like… like absolute shit.” He says with a chuckle. Don’t force yourself, Levi. We can go get something else.”   
  
He throws out the rest of his food and dumps the mess of the coffee, looking at the thick globs of hard caramel and sighing, knowing he had to clean that out. At least the caramel in the pot had dissolved with the hot water so that he only needed to scrub a bit to get it clean. The mug required a lot more work, however, as he used hot water and a sponge to dissolve away at the sticky, hard mess. By the time he was done, Levi was coming up behind him with an empty plate and a similar looking mug to when Erwin had started cleaning his.   
  
“You ate it?”

“Every last bit.” He said with a heavy exhale. Erwin turned quickly to kiss him deeply, holding him close.  
  
“You are the best husband ever, Levi. Thank you,” He knew Levi had done it for him, to show how much he loved him. “I promise I’m going to take such good care of you when you get sick from this.” He said and Levi just laughed.   
  
“You’re such an idiot, Erwin. I love you.”   
  
“I love you too, Levi.” He said as they kissed again before Levi started helping him clean up.   
  
“Damn, you got this shit everywhere.” Levi says, finding some caramel even on the floor.   
  
“Ugh, don’t remind me. It’s so annoying. I don’t know what Starbucks does to get your caramel lattes to be so perfect.” Levi felt a tug at his heart when he realized that Erwin had really tried. From the mustard to the caramel iced lattes. He reached up to kiss his cheek.   
  
“They use caramel _sauce_ , Erwin. Not actual caramel.” Erwin sighs, bringing the back of his wrist to his forehead in a _duh_ moment.   
  
“I hope you’re always around to cook for me, Levi. I wouldn’t be able to survive without you.” He says and Levi snorts.   
  
“Silly old man. I’m not going anywhere, Erwin.” He says as he leans against him, still scrubbing at the caramel on the stove.   
  
“I’m glad.” He responds, leaning into the half-embrace.

**Author's Note:**

> I am in EruRi _hell_ , okay?
> 
> Please feel free to kudos and/or comment if you liked these two dorks.
> 
> And you can catch me as [FolleseGaskarth](http://follesegaskarth.tumblr.com) on Tumblr if you ever wanna chat.
> 
> Thanks for reading! ♥︎


End file.
